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People off sick at work?

If a co-worker is ill, fear not. The temp company will send a replacement worker as good as the one who is off sick. And fast.

Maggie is a one-paw typist and works well with others. Everyone was pleased with the replacement and only had one minor complaint. She begged for their lunches.

Three spams: English translation gone bad

Today, I received three of the same spam blog posts regarding my messy closet. Ok, fine, I do have a messy closet. It’s true. But to discern what is being offered and how is an amusing activity.

It seems you get many variations of the offer with different English translators. Some favorites:
Indeed and No Kidding are deemed the same
To apparatus the pandemonium, tackle the disorder and grapple with the chaos are three ways to say deal with the mess
deal with the delinquent – I think they mean me
pooped of not any time being adept to allow is tired of not having any time to do it, but I like this better

Here are the first paragraphs from each of the three:

Spam 1:

“It may be loiter again and again to apparatus the pandemonium that has become your closet. Indeed, are you pooped of not at any time being adept to allot what you yen in your closet? The system of closet organization doesn’t from to be intimidating if you approach the delinquent in a up nearby fitting for manner. We be dressed listed, In this article, several ideas to call to mind a consider about when deciding how to standardize a closet using diverse closet organizing systems. ”

 

Spam 2:

“It may be on one occasion to tackle the disorder that has fit your closet. No kidding, are you pooped of not at any time being capable to windfall what you impecuniousness in your closet? The system of closet classification doesn’t have to be intimidating if you overtures to the question in a up at hand pace manner. We have listed, In this article, various ideas to think with when deciding how to form a closet using diverse closet organizing systems. ”

 

Spam 3:

“It may be term to grapple with the chaos that has transform into your closet. No kidding, are you worn out of not at any time being able to find what you yen in your closet? The transform of closet configuration doesn’t from to be intimidating if you modus operandi the delinquent in a imprint at hand fitting for manner. We be dressed listed, In this article, several ideas to over hither when deciding how to organize a closet using many closet organizing systems.”

 

Well done, translators. Very funny.

Dinner proposal – online dating

I just got an email online from a guy who said he’d invite me over, make me a Swanson dinner and serve me grape juice. Why didn’t I answer that one yet? Hmmmm….

So, as you might do with online dating sites, I checked out his profile before responding. From the answers he gave, I’m guessing he’s trying to be witty. But I’m unsure.

His picture – now this is another thing. It’s an extremely muscular body in a full-on, body-building pose. No picture of his face. No sign of what his smile might be like. Just a body.

If this is his body, which it very well might be, I doubt he eats frozen dinners. So, why is he planning on serving one to me?!

Oh…wait! He’s 19 years old. Hold the fort! I take that back. 19 and he’s offered to go out and buy a frozen dinner and make it for me. That’s amazing.

 

This makes me sad.

When a couch is left out on the street and no one takes it, I get a bit sad inside.The note on it says, “Free! Please take me home.” It was waiting there for days.

Abandoned Couch

I feel like this couch sometimes.

Marketing Speak

When features are described to sound amazing that are really even distinctive. For example, this one from today:

“…the wood finish has an appearance all it’s own.”

Doesn’t everything have an appearance all it’s own?