Learning Cycles

This year feels like a year of change. It’s only a month into 2007, and I’ve already felt sweeping changes.

Through some administrative changes in the touring company I’m working with, I’ll be doing performing only. Someone else is taking over the added casting and booking duties. Which worked out well because I was getting overwhelmed and distracted from my performing career.
I have learned a lot about casting – how it’s done, why so many people get auditioned; feeling the satisfaction of selecting the perfect actor and the disappointment when the director didn’t like who I picked; the frustration of recasting when actors get booked on other gigs or they cancel the lower-paid gig they booked with me. I understood it from the actor’s point of view, but not from casting.

I want to retract all the complaints I’ve ever muttered or thought. I was dead wrong and wallowing in my insecurities. Seeing the other side of auditions and casting has made me a better actor. It’s just business – I’ve never appreciated that fully before now. People are rooting for me. I was 100% behind the actors I picked.
The cycle continues…

No hurried work

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When I want an particular outcome – like someone to work on a film or script, someone to perform with – I sometimes rush to decide who to book or work with. Get someone to say yes – that’s my goal. I was not taking the time to do things right.

Relationships are built. Developed. Decided on over time. Trust is built up. Over and over again. Reviewed, changing, starting, finishing.

Time to slow the machine down. Beef up the finesse. It’s time to reserve my judgement. See how things pan out and let the world unfold before me, instead of forcing it. Allow the world to be just as it is.

The rush to decide is being driven by two factors that I said I didn’t want: my fear that no one likes me/wants to work with me, and trying to “get ahead.” These things sneak up on my consciousness and take over, without contributing anything to me or my learning. Next thing I know, I’m scanning the web for the next “opportunity” without really exploring what a good fit for work is, and who is doing what projects.

It’s time to do things I take pride in. Indecision wastes time, but deciding to reserve judgement may be the key to peace. And quality work all of the time. On purpose. Breathe.