New Year’s Resolution – 2007
Posted by dianagalligan · 4 Comments
A few years ago, I banished making a laundry list of “good idea” resolutions – eat better, exercise more, be more successful at my job, get out of debt, etc. Mostly, it just became a list of things I didn’t do, and now I feel bad about it. And I’m annoyed that I didn’t do what I was planning, and I gave up.
I still like the idea of making a resolution – so now I pick one thing that is more open-ended. So instead of “getting into shape”, I want something bigger that can be solved in more than one way. Like “finishing things that I’ve started that I want to finish”. So losing weight could fall into that category. And fixing my bike light. Calling an old friend that I’ve lost touch with and want to see again. Or finish the many scripts that I’ve half written and always meant to finish. It could be any of them. Any one would fulfill the resolution and keep me on it. There is no failure/success scenario – just a choice of finishing something.
It was also important to me to add “that I want to finish” so it doesn’t become another list of what I “should” do. A seminar leader I worked with used to say “don’t should on yourself”. Should is the basis of guilt, and guilt is the result of inaction for me. If I’m not working on something, I’m feeling bad about it. Like it’s the same to feel bad or to work. Guilt is another great distraction, procrastination by feelings.
2007’s resolution: not to rush. That’s it. Take care, do things well and don’t rush.
As a performer and writer, I’m always afraid that my work isn’t good, that people will hate it, that they secretly say “boy, she should keep her day job” behind my back. And smile and say it’s good to my face. So I try to do a bunch of projects at the same time, try to speed up to stay ahead of the criticism and not write and perform from the heart, because that’s risky. For me, rushing is an addiction. Overbooking is a great escape. I get to say “well, I would have done a better job, if…” and I fill in the blank with whatever is going on at the time – someone’s birthday, a wedding, a family gathering, work projects, paying debts, stress.
2007 is the year of pride. And I write this publicly so please remind me when I forget.
Was just on Technorati and saw your blog listed. Looks great. The year of pride, great theme. One thing you will find with blogging is people certainly like to remind you of things
Taks care and good luck blogging.
Michael
http://www.mikeysgblog.com
hehe!
Thanks Michael! I’m starting to like reminders and not take ‘em personally.
Picked up your blog off technorati.
I like your ‘year of pride’ idea, even though it competes with my ‘year of the high-five’ idea. Actually I’m pretty sure they can co-exist now I think about it.
Cheers
“As a performer and writer, I’m always afraid that my work isn’t good, that people will hate it, that they secretly say “boy, she should keep her day job” behind my back.”
Having worked with you I can say in all sincerity that you are a professional, you’re fun to work with and you’ve got big talent. I would most definitely work with you again in future. And I would indeed recommend you to others.
The problem with this industry (in reference to your acting talent) is people are sensitive. We’re all artists. There does, admitedly, come a time when I wonder, “What have I gotten myself into here…?” if I’m on the other side of the camera watching an actor try to give it his or her all and finding they aren’t exactly what I was looking for or hoping for (this hasn’t been the experience I’ve had with you). But then it isn’t necessarily about them or their performance – it was a casting mishap – my fault. Then what? Do I criticize the actor for not showing me the goods? Do I play the blame game and wag my finger at them? No. As much as I might try to work things out or pull from them, doesn’t mean this individual can or will deliver. Still, they’ve invested in this. They’ve taken X number of hours to come and spend time with me on my production and they want to be there. To me, that’s a big deal. It’s more important to me than maybe their not being able to swing it. Enter improvisation, rewrites, editing…
I think fear of failure is a given. For anybody. It’s biological. When we sit back and realize everybody is going through the same thing, I dunno. Some how it makes my insecurities seem smaller because we’re all in this together. And then when I look at everybody as one unit – one muscle doing the job – it’s amazing to me that a group of strangers can come together to make something so fun and wonderful (to me, anyway). Then, it’s no longer about me or what I think I can’t do. It’s like a mini miracle. WE did this. THEY did this for me. THEY trusted me, we pulled it off. And the more times I do it – work the muscle – the stronger it gets. The smaller the insecurities for myself, personally. And I find myself sitting at my computer come the end of the day looking at the results of everyone’s efforts? It doesn’t matter to me what others might think – these guys – these strangers came together and got the job done. And nine times out of ten it’s even BETTER than I’d anticipated.
So write your scripts, girl. Get your friends together and do the rehearsals and make it happen. The talent you have is a wonderful gift. You are so positive and you have so much energy and your face lights up a room. We all need that – especially today. I’d tell you to lose your day job, but the actor’s union is on strike!
Kudos to you!
HBB