Actor’s heroin

I get the great honour and opportunity of performing in front of an audience on a regular basis. With my work, I do murder mystery shows, create characters, sketch comedy, improv comedy and stand up.

Because I mostly do live comedy, there’s powerful feedback – the audience laughs or applauds. When a show goes really well, when the entire cast is “on” and really smoking or I alone am really kickin’ it, there’s not a better feeling in the world. After the show, people will come up to the cast or to me and say, “that was fantastic” or “we had a great time” or “you are fantastic”. I love that so much.
But I also crave it. Need it like a drug. Gimme more. Pink Floyd sang, “Shall we set out across this sea of faces, in search of more and more applause.” And I’d scream, yes, lets do that. More laughter and more applause.
If I follow that desire, it will lead to bad performances because I’m chasing an outcome, not finding the joy in my performance. Or the truth in it. It’s so easy to chase an outcome and be left wanting. The outcome is a result of focusing on doing my best, enjoying myself and giving my all. So easy to get clouded, and forget that. To get a bit obsessed with the laughter or doing well.

The applause is fantastic – and a highly addictive substance that can cloud my judgement. As long as I’m aware…I think I can prevent a serious addiction. Use the applause and laughter as a truth meter. If I’m truthful in my writing and performing, then people get it and like it.  Applause is just a measure of my willingness to deliver the truth in focused and crafted manner.