Category Archives: Animated Gifs

Save the Pigeon

It’s times like this that I love people.

I was heading into a grocery store and so was a pigeon. He was walking, as I was. Let’s call him Ben. However, Ben didn’t realize the automatic doors that had just opened would then close. It caught his tail and the tips of his wings – he was stuck.

A young girl ran over and the doors opened. Ben walked hurriedly into the foyer, deeper into the store.  He looked a bit hurt.  After discussion, we decided that didn’t really know his condition beforehand. He might have had bad wing already.

We spend 5 minutes talking about what to do. Four people with lives and places to go – we all  stopped and talked. What’s more – we were concerned for the life of this animal. A pigeon. Now, the city is filled with pigeons, but we were connected to Ben.  He needed something from us.

After an unsuccessful call to animal rescue, one woman got some crackers from the soup area of the store and we fed him. He didn’t seem like he had any plans to leave. I did. I had a meeting that I didn’t want to be late for. So I left him there…in good hands.  When I was leaving the store, all of them were gone, the women, the young girl and Ben. No one was around.

Sometimes, it’s the little things that connect me to people. Thanks Ben. Hope we helped.

Feel the fear and do it anyway

From stand up comedy to character pieces to video – the moments leading up to performing or displaying my work are incredibly debilitating – I literally shake, feel jittery, can’t eat, drink to much coffee or wine, suddenly need to clean my room, organize my socks or buy groceries – the mundane that suddenly seems more important to mask the fact that I’m afraid.

Often, I avoid the whole thing by blaming someone or my circumstance so I don’t actually have to do it. Like, “I’m far too busy” or “If my ex-boyfriend was more supportive of my work…” or “I’ll do the next round.” The truth is that I don’t like the discomfort that I feel before displaying my work – never mind promoting myself and what I am up to.

This past week, along with a great crew, I put together a trailer for a web series that I’ve been developing for the last 5 months or so. Lots of work – writing, planning, casting, funding, all of it. So it was a big project and it’s a big deal to me.

When I was about to post the trailer online, I was suddenly struck with the urge to run, do something else, get away from it all. “Who did I think I was and why would I succeed” kept running through my head. All those negative thoughts that keep me from doing what I want were chiming in full force. It took everything I had to post the trailer and tell people about it.

I guess I have to accept that this is just the way it goes. Feel the fear and do it anyway.  What I am committed to is on the other side of it – the feedback, connection to people, seeing my work go out there, doing what I truly love.

Here’s the trailer for the series:
http://www.roommateexperiment.com 

Please share it, comment on it, say what you like. Tell me if you’d watch it and why or why not.

It’s out there for me, but also for you. Because I do my work for all of us. Sometimes I forget that when I get wrapped up in my own fears.

Ode to Take Out

Oh, take-out dinners, the kind you can phone to have sent over, this one is for you.

From the mere idea of you…warm comforting food that someone else will make, saving me the trouble of cooking or even thinking, for that matter. You save me time. Make things easy. I’m going to call and have your steamy loveliness sent over. What could be a better idea than this?

Soon after, you arrive in the smiling hands of a driver. Your plastic bag outfit is quite becoming, but I tear it off – there’s a knot I can’t undo. As I open the styrofoam containers, I feel a tinge of regret at the wastefulness of a single-use-container and plastic bag that I can’t use again.  But the steamy goodness, the bounty of your excellence is spread out before me. Inviting me.  I can eat as much as I want. These foods I had no hand in making, but I can eat. Different flavours plus some for lunch tomorrow. How lovely.

When it’s all done, I feel too full.  The dull ache arising from just a bit too much food coupled with the over-use of oil, salt and sugar. Far too unhealthy for me to make myself.  But as long as someone else does it, I can ignore it for a while.

Suddenly, you are a bad idea, sitting in my stomach like a stone. My satisfaction turned to discomfort. You turned on me. How could you? I charged this to my credit card and now I have to work it off. Both at the gym and at my job. You have become a deficit. How do you manage to seem like such a reasonable, inexpensive idea until afterwards?  In the wake of empty styrofoam containers laid out like a group of dead clams, your relationship with me has changed.

Why must it be like this every time?

10 life lessons from my dog

1. Calm down and look around. There is something infinitely interesting in every spot you are in, like the smell of grass or saying hello to strangers.

2. Hanging out is better than everything. Time is for the people or dogs you enjoy. My teenage self was right, hanging out at the mall or in a friend’s basement actually does rock. A lot.

3. There’s no where to go, we are already here. Why go out when we’re already somewhere, like the couch? Good question.

4. A good long walk is important. Nothing clears my head like a good walk with a good canine friend. Or a human friend, come to think of it.

5. Love is unconditional. ‘Nuff said.

6. Dog kibble tastes terrible. I tried it once and it’s gross.

7. Everything is better with sauce on it.  A good gravy transforms the taste of kibble to something entirely enjoyable to the dog. I haven’t tried that one yet. But I do like a good sauce.

8. Everything can be exciting. For Maggie, doing something is fun. Like this one: “Do you wanna go poop? Huh? Do ya? It’s gonna be a good time! Woohoo! Poop!” Try shouting that the next time you go to the bathroom. It will make it more fun.

9. Snorting is funny. Maggie’s snort-timing is impeccable – it’s as though she’s weighing in with agreement.  “…and that’s why we have nuclear waste.” SNORT. Sure is.

10. Blame your farts on someone else. Maggie will get up from a nap, awoken by the stink of a fart she just created. She’ll look at whoever is nearby, as if to say, “That just woke me up. Phew that’s a stinker. Did you have to do that?” Then she walks away, disgusted. Leaving you with the smell. Good plan.

Oh, Internet, you never fail to make my day

Among the things I do for a living, I manage online Google Ad campaigns. Those little text ads that show up beside the search results. I write them, track them, edit them and review them. And yes, people do click on them.

One of the tasks is to filter out the keywords that people are searching which are unrelated to your ad/product. Like if you were selling “butter tarts” then you’d want to get rid of things like “butter churn” “cocoa butter” and all the sites that might come up under “tart.” You get the picture.

I love this part – looking at what people have actually searched to get to your site. Some things are no-brainers, but others…well, others are surprising.

Like the image below. People actually searched for these things. I highlighted the choice ones in green. I let you draw your own conclusions.

 

This makes me sad.

When a couch is left out on the street and no one takes it, I get a bit sad inside.The note on it says, “Free! Please take me home.” It was waiting there for days.

Abandoned Couch

I feel like this couch sometimes.