The crazy ideas, the connection with people, the debates, the arguments, the laughter, the tears. When creating anything – a painting, a play, writing jokes, making bridges, doing a short film – you go through steps that are pure creation. Invention, messiness, playing, debate.
My creative process always lands me in one of two places – high or low. I’m ecstatically happy that everything I’m working on will be well received and the world is great; or I’m super- bummed that this is going to be the worst piece of crap I’ve ever created and everyone will hate me and I’ll die alone and misunderstood. Dramatic, I know, and this project probably has no bearing on the chances of dying alone vs. with other people.
There doesn’t seem to be anything in between. I’m never simply satisfied, nor happy with progress. I never think – “this is going okay.” It’s either fantastic or devastatingly lousy.
This week was nearly completely on the low end. Everything seemed bleak, pointless and painful. Things I thought were funny seemed terrible. It went like that all week. I kept writing into the darkness, mired in the dramatic pointlessness of it all.
Then something changed. The last two days were heavy thunderstorms, which has turned into alternating storms and sunshine today. It was surreal but broke the pattern in my mind. Everything is great again. Just like that. Getting my stuff out there seems like a great idea again. Up I go again.
So it swings – from high to low, then back again. I guess that’s just how it goes – I get to feel it all.
And it’s pretty sweet, just the way it is.