There were a lot of changes trying to “monetize” Facebook that came out since the IPO. Selling shares to people means you have to show that you are doing things to make money. I get it, it’s fine. Just try not to suck while doing it.

Facebook, I’m sorry, you have been my friend, ally and helpful network but you are starting to super-suck. This is a recent list of why. And I’m saying this as a friend. Someone who does care that you stick around and have a decent  go of it.

First grievance – stop trying to get me to buy things for friends on their birthdays. It’s tacky. If they are friends I see, I will buy them a gift if I’m going to their birthday party. And they would do the same for me. I had to give kudos to a friend for ignoring your very tacky request. She felt guilty. Maybe you think a guilty buck is still buck. But go easy on it – maybe just offer it to my friends who are in a different city that I converse with. Not everyone. That’s dumb.

Secondly, stop showing crappy ads. You need money and I want you to have some. With a billion people on the network, you can’t get some primo ads – things I might have heard of? I know – it’s self serve ad inventory. I have used it myself. But come on! The odd ads with weird pictures and stranger ad copy is costing you your reputation. Trust me on this one.

Thirdly, when creating events that I invite my friends to –  removing the ability to message all my guests at events and parties is stupid. Plus, thanks for not warning me. That’s like the phone company removing my ability to make a phone call. WTF, dudes? I’m perhaps more ticked since  I was having a party and planned to remind the guests closer to the date. Many said yes three weeks ago. I couldn’t do that, because you’ve removed the “message all guests” function. You could have left me the option to AT LEAST message the people that said they were coming. This isn’t about security or privacy (see final point below). But no.  The only thing you have now is your “promoted” ads. I get you need to make money. I’m supposed to put an ad on the side column for my friends to see. Sorry, but they mostly ignore them, and they will not realize it’s my event!

Finally, thanks for giving all my personal information to the American government. I hope they enjoyed my pithy posts about my dog, my personal opinions on my friends’ causes and the many “in” jokes. Please have them call me if they have any questions or need further explanation. Hope you are making some cash from that at least.

Generally, stop taking away all the things that people want and replacing them with attempts at making money. The value is there – in our connections to each other. No one wants you to go away.

Just stop taking away the functions that people use. You have stats on this, right?

 

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